LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"Reverse engineer an outcome: Think of what you want to be different because you gathered, and work backward from that outcome." Priya Parker

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

This is the final post on Priya Parker, the author of the book, The Art of Gathering. It's been fun to do a deep dive with you over the past 2 months, and I've received many comments and thoughts on the book as well as the quotes we've targeted.

To read past quotes & thoughts.... CLICK HERE.

Let's end with this quote above, which really aligns with Parkers overall theme of the book.

She's talking about PURPOSE.

Often, when we plan a gathering of some kind: a meeting, a dinner party, a large event, we begin by asking: Where will we meet? When will we meet? Who's invited? Once we answer those questions, we then look at the program and plan.

Parker is simply telling us to begin this way, "reverse engineer the outcome".

Don't start with these questions, but start with this one:

"When this gathering is over, what do I want to be true

that isn't true right now?"

That desired change - the outcome - should determine every choice you make.

I remember attending a youth leaders retreat in Cuba years and years ago. I was coming as one of the speakers, and there were about 90 leaders attending. I had a lot of expectations and ideas about what a retreat should look like, so I was really surprised when we rode in the back of a truck for 4 hours to attend this conference. It was held in an old building in Eastern Cuba, and there weren't enough chairs for people to sit in, there was no sound system, the food was served in paper trays, they hadn't been able to copy my notes for people and I was just exhausted from the travel. My expectations...

What followed was 3 days of deep Community... laughter, tears, vulnerability, learning, celebrating, understanding and safety.

My friend, Pancho, who led this retreat, knew exactly what this group of people needed and he knew what to focus on and what not to focus on.

The result was a moment in time when leaders were connected, encouraged and equipped which was the goal. We all endured the drive, lacked some sleep, sat on the ground, ate off of cardboard and survived without a flashy powerpoint presentation because these things weren't important... connection, encouragement and equipping was the goal.

I'll never forget that retreat. I learned so much about myself and I was inspired by these Cuban leaders who fully understood this concept of "gathering with purpose".

Think of a time where you experienced this "Purpose Driven Gathering" yourself? What stood out to you? What did you learn?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"But here is what the skilled gatherer must know: in trying not to offend, you fail to protect the gathering itself and the people in it." Priya Parker

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

This month, I'm going to dive into a few quotes from Priya Parker, the author of the book, The Art of Gathering. I've been talking about this book for the past few months, and I thought I'd choose a couple of her quotes on the importance of gathering together just to encourage you to explore the book more deeply.

To read past quotes & thoughts.... CLICK HERE.

OK, 2 more quotes from this book, then we'll move on in December. However, there is still much for you to uncover in this book, so please read it! I'd love to hear from you about some of the other things that popped for you.

This quote above kind of "stopped me in my tracks" when I read it. I began thinking about so many times I compromised with a gathering instead of protected it.

I was running a leadership event years ago and a friend suggested that we bring some people in to do interviews of the people that were participating. While this isn't a bad idea, I realized pretty quickly that I had compromised some what what I was hoping for in terms of culture, safety and community.

The event was good, people connected, but it was laced with distraction, with noise and with confusion. People didn't know who was a part of the Community and who was invited to interview people. People who were interviewing thought they had a seat at the table for discussion, but they didn't understand the context of what the gathering was all about.

It was a mess!

However, in the midst of the mess, God still went to work. Lives were impacted and a Community was born, but I remember thinking about this at the end of the event and committing to myself to "do better" and to "fight for the Community I was hoping to build".

That experience set a tone that I've been able to curate and develop to drive intentionality into this Community, but also into many different gatherings I've hosted.

Sometimes I have to make the mistake to actually learn from it, which is why this quote jumped out at me. That line:

"In trying not to offend, you fail to protect the

gathering itself and the people in it."

My job is to PROTECT THE PURPOSE OF A GATHERING. We've learned that this is one of the most important things about a gathering, and as the leader, I might need to offend someone by saying NO. And that's OK.

Have you ever failed to "protect a gathering" by allowing something to happen that you knew went against the purpose? How did it make you feel?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"Too many gatherings don't end. They simply stop." Priya Parker

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

This month, I'm going to dive into a few quotes from Priya Parker, the author of the book, The Art of Gathering. I've been talking about this book for the past few months, and I thought I'd choose a couple of her quotes on the importance of gathering together just to encourage you to explore the book more deeply.

To read past quotes & thoughts.... CLICK HERE.

This quote caught my attention because it's so true! I often put all of my energy on how to START a gathering: Getting people there, setting up the room, working the agenda and making sure everything flows smoothly, but then I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the END.

Parker would say:

" Endings give meaning - they help participants reflect, transition and carry something forward. When gatherings just fizzle out, people lose the chance to make sense of the experience or feel closure."

I experienced this a couple of times over the past number of weeks:

• A great lunch meeting and presentation that was quickly wrapped up because we ran out of time, and people simply stood and left.

• A business gathering where participants began "slipping out early", and eventually the leader said, "Well, since people are leaving, let's just close our time."

• A large event that was running really long, and people left early because there was no clear end in sight or expectation of when the end would come.

• A coffee meeting that was cut short because of another appointment, which led me to dash out without bringing things to closure.

We do it all the time! I do it all the time.

Sometimes, by the time I get to my car, I find myself wishing that I could have finished better!

Parker shares these thoughts on ENDINGS:

1) ENDINGS GIVE MEANING: "The end is your final opportunity to help people understand what the gathering was really about."

2) DON'T LET IT JUST FIZZLE: "Even 2 minutes of structure at the end can transform how the gathering lands."

3) MARK THE TRANSITION: Make a toast, share a takeaway, a collective gesture (clapping, standing), a ritual.

4) LOOK BACK, THEN FORWARD: "Good endings REFLECT back, and PROJECT forward.

5) SAY GOODBYE WITH CARE: "A personal farewell - a thank-you, a handshake, a hug - communicates value and closure."

Think about a GREAT ending you experienced recently. What made it so powerful? (I'll share mine below)