LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"Commitment is a function of two things: clarity and buy-in." Patrick Lencioni

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

We're looking at the each of the dysfunctions that Lencioni describes in his book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.

We looked at TRUST the first week, then last week looked at the FEAR OF CONFLICT We're working through all five dysfunctions this month and identifying some areas we might need to pay special attention.

I'm assuming this is a refresh, but I'm still surprised by the number of people I run into who have never walked through Lencioni's Five Dysfunctions Model. If you're one of them, stop reading my summaries and read his book. It's worth the read!

I love this quote on commitment because it's so simple, yet as a leader, I can't count the number of times I asked people to COMMIT without having the clarity around the project defined and without giving people the opportunity to BUY-IN.

LACK OF COMMITMENT is Lencioni's third dysfunction.

Years ago a good friend invited me to serve on his Board. I responded quickly by saying yes, then I asked some questions about expectations and what value he thought I could bring to the Board. His reply was simply to come and engage and then we'd work that all out.

I attended my very first Board Meeting, and we were all challenged to do some things for the organization that surprised me. They wanted me to donate financially a specific amount, they wanted me to commit to raise funds, and they wanted me to take a specific role in a capital campaign.

I was surprised at the expectations, and at the first break of the meeting, I pulled my friend aside, who was the President, and asked him why he hadn't shared these expectations with me earlier. He simply replied, "If I had shared these with you earlier, you wouldn't have joined the Board."

My response: I resigned at the end of that first day of meeting, and I'm sure I was the shortest serving Board Member in that organizations history. My reason for resigning was that I wasn't given the opportunity to AGREE to what was happening, but had been expected to just follow along.

Lessons learned:

• If someone asks me to serve, I ask many more questions today than I did before, even when the request comes from a friend.

• While I can't know everything, due diligence is really important so that I can make an informed decision.

• After asking questions, doing the due diligence, I'm then able to commit and buy-in to what I've been invited into.

• If there's any questions or concerns, I don't just move forward, but I address those head-on and work towards clarity first, then I respond.

Do you have any stories like mine where you made a decision without having all the needed information? What was the result of that?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"When there is trust, conflict becomes nothing but the pursuit of truth, an attempt to find the best possible answer." Patrick Lencioni

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

We're looking at the each of the dysfunctions that Lencioni describes in his book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.

Last week I started where Lencioni starts... TRUST. His entire model is built with trust at the foundation, and he says again and again, "if you have trust, then you can...."

He challenges us over and over again to build that solid foundation of trust, which we described last week as being connected to vulnerability.

You'll need that solid foundation, because the next dysfunction he looks at is FEAR OF CONFLICT.

In the book, Lencioni describes different kinds of conflict and explains different ways people approach it. I think the most valuable thing he does is he breaks the common belief that "conflict is bad".

If I ask a room full of leaders how many are comfortable with conflict vs. how many avoid it, it always lands in the 80-20 ratio. Most people avoid it, but there are some who are comfortable with it.

Lencioni, the quote above, describes conflict as "the pursuit of truth". He goes on to say that a meeting without conflict is an unnecessary meeting.

He describes ways in which conflict helps us find truth, helps us argue and disagree rationally, and talks about the value that comes when people passionately share their views and opinions.

In another book he says that "meetings without conflict is boring".

I don't know about that.

I'm not afraid of conflict, but I don't always welcome it. I've learned a lot over the years of what my tolerance is and how to allow the right amount.

There's a tipping point when conflict can move quickly from a "healthy conflict" into a "mean-spirited personal attack". I've seen this happen, and this does damage to the team, to the organization and to the leader.

Years ago, while engaged in a deep conflict, I learned the lesson that you can disagree, you can discuss passionately, and you can call someone out for their behavior, but then you can continue in your relationship and move on.... IF YOU HAVE A FOUNDATION OF TRUST!

What's your personal tolerance for conflict? Think about how you approach this at work, at home, at church, in your community?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"If you could get all the people in an organization rowing in the same direction, you could dominate any industry, in any market, against any competition, at any time." Patrick Lencioni

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

I led a short workshop for a local non-profit team this week, so I spent some time revisiting a workshop I've shared over the years from one of my favorite Patrick Lencioni books, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.

I remember the first time I read this book back in 2002 and I immediately tried to put it's principles into play in the organization I was running at the time as well as 2 Boards I was serving with and leading.

Lencioni talks about 5 things that high functioning teams have to address and it was so practical, it immediately made a difference in the way I was leading. Of course, it's taken another 25 years of practice, failure and then trying again, but I can honestly say that this book had a huge impact on my personal leadership and on every organization I've been a part of since.

This month, I'm just going to share some thoughts from this book, but I encourage you: If you haven't read it, GET IT AND READ IT. If you have read it, PICK IT UP AGAIN AND REFRESH. If it's sitting on your shelf and you flipped through a couple of pages, I challenge you to STOP AND READ IT.

Lencioni builds his entire model on a foundation of TRUST. He talks about how important it is to build trust but then to maintain trust over time.

He talks about the quickest way to build trust being VULNERABILITY. He actually wrote a book that he titled, GETTING NAKED (which got a lot of attention), but the entire book is about the importance of vulnerability in leadership.

In this book, Lencioni identifies 3 reasons why people in leadership aren't vulnerable and real:

First, THE LEADER FEARS LOSING BUSINESS. We're afraid that if we show our real selves, they won't like what they see and they'll go someplace else. We live with this constant fear.

Second, THE LEADER FEARS BEING EMBARRASSED. We worry about what people think so we want to project something that is often not what is real! We don't want people to see any weakness in us!

Thirst, THE LEADER FEARS FEELING INFERIOR. We are the leader and we like it when our team puts us up on a pedestal to some degree. Humbling ourselves might make us look less qualified.

We buy into these lies, and Lencioni argues that the opposite is usually true.

• When we show our true selves, people are drawn to us.

• When we show our weaknesses, we become much more relatable.

• When we're not afraid of being embarrassed, we take more risks and often show more of our true leadership.

Which one of these three is something you have dealt with as a leader?