It's Tuesday at 2:00pm! (PST Time: I live and work from Southern California)
One of my favorite books of all time is Patrick Lencionis book, "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team" (©2002 Jossey-Bass) . If you haven't read it yet, stop what you're doing an order it HERE. If you work with other people, this book will help you build a team that really works.
One of the 5 dysfunctions is simply "A FEAR OF CONFLICT".
Lencioni shares: "The desire to preserve artificial harmony stifles the occurrence of productive ideological conflict."
He goes on to explain that when we don't practice healthy conflict on a team we're a part of, we don't get the desired results we're all working towards. Conflict, the right way, is a process of encouraging team members to share their opinions passionately, with the common goal of coming to the BEST decision possible for the organization.
Conflict can be very unhealthy, but it can also be liberating! When a team has a high level of trust, this kind of conversation helps us identify the key issues we need to deal with.
Conflict is something to EMBRACE. It's not something to AVOID.
Yesterday in church I was challenged with another thought on CONFLICT that I wanted to share with you. I've been thinking about it for 2 days.
Pastor Roger was teaching out of James 4 and he began with this in verse 1: "What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?" (ESV)
The chapter continues to address a variety of aspects of conflict, and if you'd like to listen to Pastor Roger's message, CLICK HERE. It's a great challenge on conflict.
I want to simply challenge you with what I've been thinking about.
What causes conflict in my is "my passions at war within me". There are 2 aspects of this:
First, it's the normal stuff that rages in each of us: jealousy, anger, resentment, ego, desire, selfishness and so much more. Maybe I'm the only person who deals with this, but these things create a perfect storm in my life.
Second, it's the things that are coming from my heart: purpose, passion, impact, influence, value, changing lives, being a Kingdom builder.
I really do want to make a difference.
Imagine all of these things at war in your own heart!
Sometimes we walk into a team meeting, and we react to what happens around the table with our team. It's easy to blame others, accuse others and point our fingers. What we rarely identify is the war that is going on inside of each of us that often manifests itself when we're with our team members.
I've got to figure this out! I can't let the war that's going on inside of me affect the people I work with, the relationships I value and the team I'm a part of.
If I want to engage in healthy conflict, I have to first take a look inside myself and figure out this "war" that's going on. It's not fair for me to bring all of that with me to the table.
James is right: "What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?" (ESV)
What are some things you can do TODAY to address the stuff that's going on inside of you that will eventually affect the people you're working alongside?
Share your thoughts with us...
"Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means." Ronald Reagan
"When there is trust, conflict becomes nothing but the pursuit of truth, an attempt to find the best possible answer." Patrick Lencioni
